Mean Girls

I was never a "mean girl" in high school. I was lucky, actually, to rarely feel pressures to 'fit in' or the need to worship the 'popular girls.' I was confident in the fact that I may not be 'hot' or 'pretty' but that I was going places.

A lot has changed since high school... I lost my baby fat and learned how to wear make-up. I take pride in my body not because it's perfect but because it works and it's probably not going to get much better than it is today. I am finally a confident chick who feels attractive.

About 6 months ago, me and my boyfriend of nearly two years broke up. About a week before I came home I found out about his new girlfriend. When I finally found out who she was, I stalked her myspace photos. I'm not proud of it... but immediately I was comforted by the fact that I believed I was prettier than her. I thought it made me happy... I had "won" the break-up in some way... but then I became extremely disappointed in myself.

How can women complain about standards of beauty when we constantly rip each other to shreds? Why did I get so much enjoyment over dissecting a girl I never even met because I have (and will likely always have) some silly boy insecurities? I wish I could apologize for my horrible inner monologue! I'm not alone here. I hear women talk about other women's styles, weight gains, 'prettiness', etc... all the time! I constantly am told that "women don't dress for men, they dress for other women" (uh... what ever happened to dressing for OURSELVES?). I challenge you all (and myself) to stop 'mean girl'-ing the women in our lives (or not, in my case).... It's time to band together. Support women around you and find beauty in them. Compliment strangers. Accept beauty without competition. Mostly, don't be a girl who you don't want to see in the mirror... cause that's not a good look for anyone.

<3Dani

Be the Change

Since I was a kid, I knew I wanted to help. I grew up around individuals who dedicated their life and soul to helping others making a significant contribution to society. From a grandmother who worked hand in hand with Mother Teresa, to a father who started a foundation in South America for impoverished students, I knew I had some big shoes to fill. I grew up with the standard, " To whom much is given much is expected", and so logically, I knew I fit somewhere in that paradigm. The truth is, helping others has become a job that bases itself on a level where people will only contribute partially. Whether it is writing a check once in a while to a worthy cause or volunteering when weekends are free and uneventful, helping others has become a fairweather hobby.
When I started Students for Real Beauty I thought to myself, " Man, this is going to be such an awesome thing, I am contributing to the greater good, and am helping (along with 230 members) to change the world!" But the truth is, as much as Students for Real Beauty does change the world for a better place, we cannot be satisfied and stop here. We cannot simply be satisfied with volunteering once in a while in a workshop, holding fun events, and meeting twice a month. I believe with my whole heart that "changing the world" is so much more than that. It starts with you and it starts with wanting to dedicate your very heart and soul to something where you can contribute day in and day out. It starts with a passion. It starts with striving to become a better person, by reaching out a hand, by stepping out of your comfort zone and putting yourself out there for others. What is life anyway if it is all about us? So for now, I stick with Henry Ford's brilliant philosophy and am left with nothing but plans, passion and hope.

"To do more for the world than the world does for you, that is success"-Henry Ford

Changes

As proponents for a wider definition of beauty, at times many of us forget that the pressure is always there -- no matter what size jeans you wear, or what generation you are. We have a tendency to bash "skinny" girls and embrace the curvy but I urge all of you to embrace ALL body types, even those the media is projecting! What we need to learn to do is promote healthy bodies... a meaning that is different for each of us.

In my junior year of high school I peaked somewhere around 180lbs. Since then, I've lost a lot of weight -- mostly through changes in what I eat (but not dieting or starving) and increased physical activity (where I come from, you drive to go sit somewhere... in college, I'm constantly walking). I used to think if I could ONLY get down to 120lbs, my world would be perfect. This past summer I caught the flu and was sick in bed for a couple days, unable to eat/hold anything down. While I didn't reach my 120 "goal," I did get closer than I ever had.., loosing almost 10lbs while under the weather. Looking in the mirror, I cringed. I looked weak, breakable. Going to sleep at night was difficult as my bony knees sharply stabbed each other.

I wondered what had happened. I see girls all the time who look healthy and athletic at 120, instead of the sad, pathetic look I carried for a week while I tried to gain it all back. It was then I had an epiphany -- the number REALLY, TRULY IS NOT IMPORTANT. Your 'best' body, is bound to be very different than MY 'best' body... and that's completely okay and normal! What's important is the size YOU feel best. My current weight has been about the same for a while now, and I'm happy with it. I'm also extremely happy because it's the HEALTHIEST I've ever been. My newly made friends don't think of me like my high school friends did: always sick, searching WebMd for some clue to what was so perpetually wrong with me.

We have a tendency to believe that whatever works for everyone else will work for us -- clothes, guys, and the number on the scale. The truth is, it's probably the same reason I don't buy one-size-fits-all clothing... sure, I get that it does fit all... but if it's not going to fit FABULOUSLY, what's the point?

Dani Drazin

Creative Director

Give Thanks

The leaves have turned into a warm orange and brown and the weather is getting progressively colder. The pressure is on with finals, yet I am focused right now on one thing, my personal growth. This year has been so successful on so many different levels. Students for Real Beauty has made such a beautiful outreach to little girls all across the community. During workshops it almost seemed like they were teaching me something rather than me teaching them. I have goosebumps.

This year has flown by. I've learned so much about myself as a leader. My self esteem has grown with Students for Real Beauty. Sharing our stories about let downs, heartaches, and also stories of triumph in the battle of self. So this holiday season, I am thankful. I am thankful for the usual yet rare treasures in my life, such as friends and family. I have started to look back on my "thankful lists" throughout the years and not once have I been thankful for my body. What happened to being thankful for two feet, strong legs, two arms, two hands to reach out, two shoulders to comfort, a relatively sane head on my shoulders, my smile, eyes to see the beauties in this world, ears to hear beautiful stories, music, and laughter? What happened to the simple things?

So over the holidays, make a list of what you're thankful about YOURSELF. What makes YOU unique, beautiful, rare, and worth being treasured? What makes you YOU? Everything of course. Even if you want to keep it strictly inward, do it. Talk about your quirks, views, ideas, and dreams. You have been put on this earth for a reason and you are unique with talents and gifts yet to be discovered. I encourage you, I implore you to reach out with them and touch someone's life for the better. Mother Teresa once said,

" I am thankful for my arms because there are so many handicapped,
Thankful for my eyes that have light when so many don't,
Thankful for my lips that sing when so many are mute,
Thankful for a home when so many have nowhere to return to,
Thankful for so much and when there is so little to ask.."

Have a "beautiful" holiday <3
Love,
Laura Olivos
SFRB President

What Barbie would look like life-sized... pretty scary if you ask us!

http://www.vanderbilt.edu/wellnesscenter/barbie.html

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Laura's personal workshop at home 

over the summer! 

                

       Girl Scout workshop activity and group shot !

      

Crazy road trip shenanigans on our way to Gainesville to meet with Jess!

Jessica Weiner with our SFRB officers : )

Welcome new and old members!

Hey guys! SFRB has launched our very first blog! We are very excited for this upcoming semester, and have already begun to plan out meetings and events.  By widening the definition of beauty and battling the negative influences of the media, we hope to promote positive self esteem on FSU's campus and throughout the Tallahassee community.

Last semester SFRB documented our progress as we grew as an organization. We held successful meetings where we participated in many self-esteem building activities. Attended a workshop held by Jessica Weiner, Dove's Global Ambassador, and "Queen of Self Esteem" in Gainesville, FL. We met with Jessica personally to brainstorm how our organization at FSU could successfully make a difference. SFRB held a local workshop with Girl Scouts from across the state, and our President Laura Olivos lead her own workshop back home for the girls in her community over the summer.